When people learn that they create their own reality, and that by focusing their minds on positive images and thoughts, they can create a more positive reality, they sometimes become afraid of their negative thoughts. They fear that if they have a negative thought or idea, they are going to create that in their lives. Often, people try to suppress or ignore their negative thoughts, and valiantly try to focus only on the positive. I believe that this is a mistake. Our negative thoughts are valuable messages to us about our deeper fears and negative attitudes. Negative thoughts that you are consciously aware of do not cause real problems. Once you are consciously aware of them, they are already on their way of being cleaned out. It’s the negative beliefs that we hold onto at deep levels and that we are not aware, are the ones that cause the negative experiences in our life, and prevent us from creating what we consciously want to create! The real troublemakers are the “core negative beliefs” They are the deepest and most fundamental assumptions and expectations we have about life, the world, others and ourselves. They are usually so basic to our thinking and feeling that we don’t realize they are beliefs at all; we assume that they are simply the true nature of reality, just “the way life is.” As long as we have these unrecognized (unconscious) deep-seated beliefs, they continue to govern the way we create our reality. For example, you may be consciously affirming and visualizing prosperity, but if your unconscious belief is that you don’t deserve it, or that it’s immoral or unspiritual, then you won’t create it. Your negative thoughts and worries can be used positively, if you are willing to be consciously aware of them and look deeper, to see what lies underneath them. Once you become aware of your core negative beliefs, you can change them. (Note: Our Self-Mastery process is designed to create permanent life change by helping you surface these core negative beliefs)
Many people who have watched The Secret DVD, listened to The Secret CDs or read The Secret Book have experienced trying to make the Law of Attraction work for them, only to be disappointed. I wrote this article to let you know why it did not and what you can do to make the Law of Attraction work for you. I first learned about the power of affirmations and visualization techniques and the Law of Attraction over 20 years ago. The affirmation process is based on the following concept: thoughts create feelings, feelings create actions, actions create habits, habits create beliefs, belief systems create human identities, and your human identities create your reality. I embraced this concept and spent a great deal of time, effort, and money studying everything I could on this subject in an attempt to create the reality I wanted. The majority of the self-improvement courses, books, and tapes taught me various methods of how to visualize and affirm what I wanted to create. Many of these techniques can be found on the The Secret materials. I meditated and visualized hundreds of positive affirmations daily. I listened to hours upon hours of my own voice affirming what I wanted on an endless loop tape! I did mirror affirmations three times a day. I told myself that saying or thinking something negative was worse than saying a four-letter word. I really thought that AFFIRMATIONS SHOULD WORK, but they weren’t working for me. I felt disappointed because I did not understand why affirmations weren’t working for me. It became painfully evident that affirmations, alone, were disappointedly ineffective at creating the reality I wanted. In order for the affirmation, alone, concept to work you must have had a life with functional role models, devoid of physical, sexual, or verbal abuse. Your mind would have to be a clean slate… free of past pain, loss, and dysfunctional experiences. Unfortunately many self-help gurus don’t teach you to clean the slate of your mind first. Instead, many self-help gurus teach that you can “PILE ON” positive affirmations over a dysfunctional past and still create the reality you want. As I discovered, the “PILE IT ON” theory, alone, just doesn’t work! If you watched The Secret movie you will know that it teaches you to change your negative thoughts to positive ones, but there’s no mention of ever addressing the pain of your past. Without healing your past, to create a clean slate of mind, you will continue to PILE IT ON. This is very important for all of us to practice in an effort to SAVE… the Humans!™ one at a time starting with mine. In fact, the more affirmations you say that do not create the reality you want, the dirtier the slate of your mind becomes. The average person’s mind is cluttered with contradictory information. This inhibits the input of positive new affirmations because of the Law of the Universe that states: “Nothing changes until IT becomes what it is!” This means that you need to see the whole truth, as it is, without judgment, regret, or shame before affirmations will work for you! You will not create permanent positive change in your life until you learn how to clean the slate of your mind! Doing affirmations without cleaning your mind… is like putting on a clean white shirt before taking a shower!
Many spiritual seekers have sampled a rich array of spiritual practices on their… journey home to their Self. The world does not make the journey home to your Self an easy one. It’s not easy to find your Self in a society that does its best to make you believe that you are a body; where power and materialism are valued above kindness and sensitivity; where technology has evolved faster than our spiritual consciousness, and where during the Christmas holidays the marketing of toys has made Santa Claus more popular than Jesus. In the Kabala, the ancient Jewish holy book, there is a passage that explains that when a spiritual seeker is truly ready to awaken, she1 must “dig one deep well” until she finds the cool, clean water of the real SELF. She must choose one path and follow it until she rediscovers her own unique inner Self. Experience has taught me two things in this regard, the first being that many seekers change spiritual methods as soon as the emotional waters get too hot; by hot I mean when the seeker comes face to face with the core fears that they have been battling with their whole life. Secondly, many seekers don’t know the difference between enlightenment and empowerment. In the East, the terms enlightenment and empowerment are used interchangeably. However, I’ve found that when teaching Westerners, these two terms needed to be differentiated so as not to confuse a knowingness (studying, philosophizing, conceptualizing) with a doing-ness (implementing, experiencing, actualizing). Enlightenment, alone, only leads to intellectual faith and faith without action is useless. It usually manifests into SELF-DELUSION, and there is nothing worse than Self-delusion for a person who is on a… journey home to Self-mastery! The key is to find one spiritual method that feels right, and then commit to staying with it, until you find the TRUTH that dwells within you. This book was written to assist those of you who are ready to dig their own deep spiritual well. Years ago I was listening to a lecture by Ram Dass2 on… Why many seekers are hooked on the search for enlightenment, and I realized that I was one of them! I enjoyed going away to spiritual intensives and meditating with a guru, but it was hard for me to feel my feelings that I had repressed since childhood. I was a spiritually conscious person who spent much of my time getting high on how enlightenment works, but I was unwilling to face my inner dragons. I felt good as long as I was learning about various spiritual methods, but as soon as I stopped and allowed myself to just be… I would feel unhappy, sad, or depressed. I was unconsciously using my search for enlightenment as a way to keep my MIND busy so as to prevent me from facing and feeling my fears. As long as I gave my mind something positive to think about, I felt pretty good; but when I stopped, I would surface feelings of discontent that were painfully undeniable. I was addicted to spiritual study and research, and I used them as an emotional escape! To feel better, I started applying the four Self-mastery Disciplinas. I stopped denying my feelings and I began to follow them to their original source. It was quite a challenge for me to overcome my feelings of insecurity that I had felt as a child but it was well worth the effort! To quote John Bradshaw, “Your parents’ intentions don’t count when it comes to your personal healing; the only thing that does count…is how you feel!” I knew that if I truly wanted to be Self-empowered, I needed to surface what I had suppressed for forty years! I had repressed feelings and beliefs such as… I’m not good enough; I don’t belong; I don’t deserve success. My parents loved me, but they were poorly educated immigrants who did not understand child psychology. I finally realized that if I were going to feel better I had to change me…not them! I needed to take full responsibility for my feelings and forgive others and myself unconditionally! I began to learn how to let my intuitive feelings drive my spiritual bicycle built for two. I ordered my mind to sit in the back seat and peddle. I was learning how to dis-create my negative mind talk and I started listening to my HEART! I finally understood the Zen proverb that, “The mind makes a great servant, but a lousy master!” Intellectually, I knew that I was safe, but emotionally I was still scared to feel my hurt feelings. I was a spiritual seeker who couldn’t understand why his life wasn’t getting any better. I was confused because I studied Eastern spiritual philosophy and in that philosophy, the term enlightenment encompassed both the doing as well as the knowing. What I learned was that I, as a Westerner, needed to differentiate between the two. My ego had me hooked on the knowingness, that is, on the learning or enlightenment aspect of my journey. I was confusing enlightenment with empowerment, that is, with the actual implementation of what I was learning in such a way that I internalized and emotionalized it. It was this confusion that was keeping me stuck in the past. Wow…what a realization! I had spent fifteen years of my life learning how the game of life worked (enlightenment) with little to no time invested into making it any better (empowerment). I meditated on why I wasn’t taking action on what I had learned and I discovered that I was afraid to feel my repressed feelings! Gradually… I learned how to make my Spirit the master of my ego mind! I told my mind that it was now safe to feel again! Slowly, but surely, my ego defenses surrendered. I learned how to eat my emotional elephant one bite at a time until my emotional upsets became less intense and less frequent. I felt like a spiritual Rip Van Winkle who had finally awakened from an emotional nightmare!