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Viewing posts categorised under: Articles

Self-Parenting

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Self-parenting is… heart work. Self- parenting exercises are to help me fulfill my emotional dependency needs that were not met during my childhood. Emotional dependency needs are the intimacy, nurturing, unconditional love and boundary protection that a person needs in order to feel safe, sane, and secure in the world.

Consciously fulfilling my emotional dependency needs will allow me to function in the world as an emotionally mature, highly functional adult. Self-parenting exercises take the concept of Self-nurturing from an abstract, hard-to-understand theoretical concept and breaks it down piece by piece into a step-by-step, easy-to-understand, specific set of emotionally Self-nurturing exercises.

Self-parenting exercises are a fast, safe way for me to surface and heal my repressed feelings. They can help me to rewire my internal programming with new, healthy, healing feelings. I can prove it to myself that the Self-parenting visualization exercises work by closing my eyes and imagining that I am chewing on a lemon. What I will notice is that I will start to salivate. WHY? Because my mind can’t tell the difference between a real and an imagined lemon. Therefore, when I do my Self-parenting exercises, my mind won’t be able to tell the difference between my real childhood experiences and Self-parented (imagined) visualizations.

Fulfilling my emotional dependency needs is a Self-parenting educational process designed to teach me how to: be emotionally intimate with myself and others, unconditionally love and accept myself and others, nurture myself and others, and maturely protect my boundaries so that I will feel safe and secure in the world. I’m often asked the question, “What’s the difference between Inner-Child work and Self-parenting work?” Inner-child work is to Self- parenting what arithmetic is to algebra.

Self-parenting takes inner-child work and integrates it with clinically proven, spiritually based exercises that break down Self-nurturing into a step-by-step, specific set of emotionally intimate Self-parenting exercises that will fulfill my emotional dependency needs that were not met when I was a child.

It is important to clearly understand what this term, Inner Child, means. It is my childlike memories and programs that are emotionally anchored to a time when I only had the power, knowledge, and physical strength of a small child. My inner child needs to learn to trust the “adult me” because I have adult powers now that he or she didn’t have. I need to make my inner child feel safe and secure by committing to practice these Self-parenting exercises until I do feel safe and secure in the world.

When I feel emotionally safe I will willingly reconnect with my repressed feelings, memories and emotions that are still frozen behind ego defenses that I needed when I was a child. When I was a child I needed my childlike defenses to feel safe, but they are no longer necessary because I am now an adult who is learning how to parent myself.

Self-parenting is an important process to Self-Mastery, and healing the Body, Mind, & Spirit. To learn more about this process, and to begin your journey home to yourself call to schedule a consultation.

Understanding Money Mastery

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In the Gospel when Jesus said to go forth and prosper, I don’t believe He meant for me to go out and collect as many consumer goods as possible or to build a few more shopping malls. What I believe He meant was for me to earn enough money to have the resources to create prosperous “Spirit First.” relationships, healthy bodies and serene minds.

Whether I have a lot or a little, money talk is perceived as deeply personal talk.  According  to William G Herron, Ph.D., the author of Money Matters, “I am taught that revealing financial information about myself is exposing myself.” Our money issues, however, remain largely shrouded in personal privacy. A recent study of 2,000 working Americans (men and women of all ages and income brackets), conducted by Princeton sociology professor Robert Wuthnow, Ph.D., reported that most people flatly declared “no” when asked if they ever discuss their finances with friends or family.

When I avoid talking about money, I am cheating myself. My unwillingness to talk through my own and other people’s money fears has its costs. Who is talking about money to the conflicted mother when she is deciding whether she should quit her job and stay at home with young children? Who is talking to the new holistic practitioner about how to market his or her new practice? Who is giving the welfare parent the financial education that he or she needs to get a good paying job?

I’ve learned while teaching that money can be a hot, tricky  topic, and for many people it is even more intimate than talking about sex. But without ever mentioning numbers, I can discuss money and my values with people I trust in ways that invite me into new and healthy viewpoints about one of life’s most challenging issues.  According to Rosemary Williams, executive director of the Women’s Perspective (a national nonprofit organization that provides non-denominational workshops on reconciling money with spirituality), attendees at her workshops are almost invariably transformed in some way by sharing their money stories. “It can be the opening of a window, or the opening of a floodgate,” she says.  “But it is always light that comes through.”

In James Allen’s book, As a Man Thinketh, he states, “Every man is where he is by the law of his being; the thoughts which he has built into his character have brought him there, and in the arrangement of his life there is no element of chance, but all is the result of a law which cannot err.”

What Mr. Allen is sharing with me is that I am completely responsible for every aspect of my life and that I create my circumstances by the thoughts I allow myself to think. My thoughts create my life. If I accept complete responsibility for all of my conditions, then I can no longer blame my parents, husband, wife, kids, dog, priest, broker or God for anything. I can no longer hate people for anything they have done to me because I co-created it. 

I cannot plant sunflower seeds and expect to harvest watermelons. I cannot think negative, dis-empowering thoughts and expect to live a life of plenty. However, if I know that by planting specific seeds I will reap a particular crop, I can learn to plant only that which I wish to reap.  I can learn to think thoughts that will enrich my life.

Accepting full responsibility for my conditions miraculously transforms me when I internalize and emotionalize this responsibility.  This acceptance allows me to change my thoughts, and in so doing I can change the very substance of my life. If I believe that I have created the present by what I thought about in the past, then in the present I can create the future.

If I wish to create the kinds of thoughts that will pull me out of my financial limitations, I must be willing to separate myself from anyone who tells me that my glass is always half empty. Only then can I begin working on filling my financial cup, and happily surrender my financial desires to my inner Self. Learn more about money mastery, and how to implement steps to improve your financial status utilizing the process of awareness/consciousness. Call to schedule your consultation today.

The Language Of Feelings

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The Language of Feelings is the language of my intuitive Self! My heart feels the intuitive messages that are sent to me by Spirit. My uncomfortable feelings are messages that I am out of harmony with my Self. When I resist, repress, or deny my feelings, I disconnect myself from my Self. Since the average emotional age of the adults in the US is only fourteen, and since most fourteen year old have not mastered how to communicate their feelings, most of us have modeled caretakers who never learned how to maturely communicate how they feel.

The Language of Feelings is Yin energy. My experiences have taught me that the majority of us are disconnected from, and are resistant to, reconnecting with our Yin or feeling energy. Yin energy is the nurturing, intuitive, sensitive energy that all humans possess.

I thank God that at least sometimes our society rewards women for displaying their feelings. In the book, Women and Their Emotions, author Miriam Neff states that, "There's something to be gained from a women's perspective on feelings. Women's feelings are typically more intense than a man's." Dr. Elaine Aron supports Neff's viewpoint about women's heightened emotional intensity in her book, The Highly Sensitive Person. Dr. Aron notes that twenty percent of the population possesses highly sensitive nervous systems and that ninety percent of these highly sensitive persons are women.

In general, our society rewards us for suppressing our feelings. As a result, we "think" that we have little incentive or motivation to learn how to feel our feelings. This is no surprise, because we are taught that feelings have nothing to do with success. In fact, in some instances our Western society teaches us that feelings can actually hinder success. Our Spiritual Distinction Meditation is an excellent exercise to help you reawaken your ability to feel what your intuitive heart is trying to tell you.

Feelings Are Neither Right Nor Wrong – They Just Are

My feelings are messages sent to me by my Self to help me feel my way through life. As I learn how to interpret the Language of Feelings, I will begin to feel my healing feelings, which will help me to row my boat serenely down the stream of life.

When my Self sends me an intuitive message, such as frustration, it’s trying to communicate to me that something I am doing (or not doing) is out of harmony with my spiritual purpose for living (my Dharma). If I try to THINK about what I am FEELING, I will simply pull up my history software from my mind. My mind is a quagmire of recorded thoughts from my personal history. In an attempt to feel safe, sane, or secure, my mind will remember similar situations from my past. Therefore, if my past relationships were filled with heartbreak, then my mind, in an attempt to keep me from re-experiencing pain, will create any evidence that my ego needs to believe that my new relationship will also cause me pain.

To learn more about the The Language Of Feelings process, and how to be fully present in the now call to schedule your consultation today.

Is Your Ego-Mind Your Master?

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Your Ego-Mind makes a wonderful servant, but a poor master. The human school has a beautiful system of balance created between the SELF and the EGO- MIND. My Ego-Mind is my instrument of separateness. My Self is my vehicle of unity. This transformational paradox creates a very profound polarity between my Ego-Mind and my Self. It manifests as a creative tension in which the ego tries to preserve my separateness, while the Self tries to merge into the unity of all things. My Ego-Mind isn’t good or bad, right or wrong. It is just the software that my Self uses to create the human identities that enable me to function on the earth plane. My ego is a survival mechanism that has been evolving for millions of years. Ego transcendence can be quite a challenge because my ego’s primary purpose is to keep me safe, sane, and secure. That’s why psychologists call them ego… DEFENSES. My Ego-Mind acts like a defense attorney who is being paid to supply me with any evidence that I need to keep my psyche convinced that all my actions are justified. My Ego-Mind will do anything to keep me from experiencing something that it THINKS might harm me. If necessary, it will create false, half true, or imaginary illusions to keep my psyche safe from what it perceives to be harmful. The ego rationalizes my experiences, and the word rationalizes” means rational lies. I buy my own rational lies in an attempt to feel safe. I  am a SPIRIT that is having a human experience. I have created human identities like mother, daughter, and holistic practitioner to function on the earth plane. Most people think that they are their thoughts and identify themselves as their thoughts to the point that if they think sad thoughts they feel sad, and if they think glad thoughts they feel glad. Again, this is not the truth, it is merely an illusion created by my ego because… “I have thoughts, but I am not my thoughts; I am SPIRIT.” THE MIND MAKES A WONDERFUL SERVANT, BUT A POOR MASTER When I focus my mind on worldly objects, I will obtain what is outside of me. When I focus my mind inward with meditation and prayer, I will discover my real Self. My Self is the source of the life force energy that makes my heart beat, my eyes see, and my lungs breathe. My mind produces an endless series of thoughts like a twenty-four-hour radio station that never goes off the air. The human challenge is to learn how to observe the difference between the thoughts that I think and the LANGUAGE OF FEELINGS of my intuitive Self. Meditating regularly will train me to feel the difference between my Spirit and Ego-Mind. Many people erroneously think that the purpose of meditation is to shut off their thoughts. The mind cannot be shut off. However, it can be quieted, observed, and witnessed. By practicing the Spiritual Distinction Meditation I will develop my ability to distinguish between my Self and my mind. My ego is fear-based and therefore it needs to be in control to feel safe. My ego is quite adept at making me believe that it is my intuitive Spirit. It does this by whispering thoughts in my ear like, “Hey listen to me… I’m your intuitive Spirit.” To learn more about the ego mind, and how to be the master of my mind call to schedule my consultation today.

First Party Communication

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First-party communication trains the feeling pathways of your brain to hear what you are vocalizing and/or sub-vocalizing. In Eastern philosophy they call this conscious listening the “witness” or the “observer” position. 

The ultimate benefit of staying in first-party communication is that it will help you stay awake  to your higher consciousness. After several months of practicing, this exercise will help you to intentionally identify your Self as the God-like being that you really are instead of what most of us have been programmed to falsely believe that we are—our roles, job titles and/or any other negative or positive conditioned behaviors or beliefs.

At the highest level of first-party communication you are consciously communicating with the awareness that what you are saying originates from “a knowing” that you are One with your inner God-Self. When you consciously do this, your subsequent actions indicate that  you believe you are “at cause” for what is, and what has been, manifested in your life.

To communicate at this level you will need to develop the habit of consciously adding a God- Self distinction phrase to your communications. This distinction phrase will help you separate your thoughts, feelings and behavior from your God-Self. A few examples of God-Self distinction phrases are: "My negative programming is bringing up so much fear for me that I am experiencing anger and feeling frightened about…." "My Ego-Mind had me stuck in my old fear-based thoughts all weekend over whether or not I should….”

Internalize… to internalize wisdom you must stay in first party. You must speak, write, feel and think in first party because it will force you to internalize all of the meta- knowledge that you have collected over the years.

Remember that you create thoughts, feelings and behaviors, but you aren’t your thoughts feelings or behaviors. You have a car, but you not your car. You live in a house, but you are not your house. You manifest feelings, but you are not your feelings. You perform positive and negative behaviors, but you are not your behaviors. You are an eternal life- force energy that we call Spirit, and it is this Spirit that is creating your thoughts, feelings and behaviors, but isn’t them. Learn more about how to apply first party communication, and make it a part of your daily consciousness call to schedule your consultation today.

Forgiveness

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Holistic Forgiveness is a Self-protection mechanism because it releases me from the blame, shame victim game. Until I am willing to consciously detach from the emotional toxicity left by my trespassers, I will stop the natural flow of prosperity, love and abundance from coming into my life! Forgiveness occurs when I am ready to release myself from the past.

Forgiveness means to accept unconditionally that what happened happened to me, and my opinion that it was right or wrong, good or bad, does not serve me well. My opinion about what happened only ACTS to hold my old “painful feelings” to me, causing me to re-live them over and over again; this is why I ask myself over and over again… “WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME….AGAIN!?” My tribal consciousness (family) makes it even more difficult to forgive someone because it demands justice if I believe I have been wronged.

I use up enormous amounts of energy holding onto my old anger, fear, shame and sadness! This weakens me and makes me more susceptible to illness and de-pression. I need to let go of my past hurts and live in the present moment. “To forgive is to set the prisoner free, and then discover the prisoner was me.” This does not mean that I am condoning what happened, only that I refuse to accept it as a toxic influence in my life. If you feel that you have been betrayed or violated in some way I want you to try to detach enough to see that this is just your opinion and your opinion is simply a judgment of what happened.

It really isn’t my job to determine justice and retribution for past hurts. This must be left up to Divine Justice, which is based on the LAW of SOWING AND REAPING! Divine Justice is not as punitive as human justice… Thank you God! What I need to do is to “let go and let God” so that I can get on with my life. “Forgiveness needs to be studied, practiced and emotionalized just like any other behavioral skill that I want to master!” When I am unwilling to “forgive my trespassers” I project negative, hateful, angry feelings and in so doing... I lose energy.

If I don’t learn how to “forgive my trespassers,” which means to release my Self from the toxicity of what happened, I will find that my life force energy will just keep draining away! Until I forgive “them” I will find it almost impossible to heal my mind or body. THE PURPOSE OF FORGIVENESS IS TO RELEASE ME FROM MY PAST! “OUR SESSIONS EMPOWER THE AWAKENED!” My undetached past could be inhibiting me from realizing my own divine potential. Until I unconditionally accept my past, it will inhibit me from living fully present in the NOW! To learn more about the forgiveness process, and how to be fully present in the now call to schedule your consultation today.

What Is Enmeshment?

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Enmeshment is “over-connectedness.” It is created by a lack of clear ego boundaries between family members. This produces a form of fusion, which is a condition that interferes with a clear sense of an individualized, healthy self. The boundaries of an enmeshed person are so weak, that functioning in individually differentiated ways is radically handicapped. When someone says things like "You complete me!" or "I'd die without you!" it may seem romantic, but it should be a big relational red flag! Such language is actually the language of co-dependency, control and enmeshment. Relational enmeshment is a term mental health care providers use to describe a person who loses themselves in another person, who allows that individual to define them. An enmeshed person will unconsciously use an individual such as (mom, dad, siblings, spouse) for their identity, sense of value, worth, well-being, safety, purpose and/or security. More simply, enmeshment is present when a person’s sense of wholeness comes from another person, which results in them trying to find their sense of worth by unconsciously caretaking for others or trying to fix authority figures so that he/she will feel safe in the world. We all need to be emotionally connected with our tribal families, but the enmeshment or over-connectedness that I am referring to here is a loss of individual ego identity created when a person is raised in a “less than perfect” family system. A family system must be a balanced system; but since all family systems aren’t “perfect” they are all out of balance to some degree. The family will do whatever it has to do to balance the system for the “tribe” to survive. The family will unconsciously act in or act out in dysfunctional ways to balance the tribal system. Each family member will compensate for the imbalance of another family member… for example, when a super responsible mother balances the irresponsible behavior of a drunken father. This can surface as cross generational bonding such as when a child takes care of their parents’ feelings, or tries to emotionally compensate for a poor marriage. This can also surface as non-physical sexual abuse such as when the child is USED by a parent to fulfill his/her own needs and desires.  To learn more about the enmeshment process, and how to overcome it call to schedule your consultation today.  

Understanding The Laws Of The Universe

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THE LAWS DON’T DISCRIMINATE

Have you ever wondered why people who earn a lot of money are not always smart and sometimes not even hard working? Ever wonder why even without a lot of brains and hard work they still manage to earn large sums of money? That is because the Laws of the Universe work equally well for the hard working as for the not so hard working; for the holy, as well as for the not so holy. Hitler used the Laws of the Universe to create a holocaust. Jesus used the Laws of the Universe to create a state of unconditional love and acceptance that still positively affects us today. And in like manner, you can use the Laws of the Universe to create financial freedom for you and your family.

The Laws of the Universe and money don’t discriminate between right and wrong or good and evil. As an example, take the physical Law of Gravity. If a holy man and an evil man both fell off a ten-story cliff, they would both fall to the ground. Ignorance of the Laws is no excuse either; just because someone was never taught how the Law of Gravity works, that excuse wouldn’t prevent him from falling to his death. The Laws of Wealth Accumulation work whether you use them consciously by design or unconsciously through ignorance.

Law is the process by which the un-manifest becomes manifest. It’s the process by which you attract money. It’s the process by which your dreams become physical reality. You don’t have to like the laws, but you do have to learn them.

The Laws of the Universe, such as laws of creation, cause and effect, attraction, and marketing are actually… divinity in motion. The word “affluence” means to “Go with the flow.” When  you understand these laws and apply them, you can manifest anything you want. The same laws that nature uses to create a tree can also bring about the creation of your own abundant holistic practice, a healthy body or your soul mate.

Your beliefs are creating your reality, and if you are resonating beliefs like…“I’m not smart enough, deserving enough; it’s not spiritual to make money; money is the root of all that is evil,” then that is exactly what you will be creating. Learn how to incorporate the Laws Of The Universe into your life call to schedule your consultation today.

Conscious Creation Process

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The CONSCIOUS CREATION PROCESS is a series of specific actions that brings about an expected end result...my desires. It is through this series of specific spiritual exercises that I can manifest my desires. The Conscious Creation Process is based on the following hypothesis: Thoughts create feelings; feelings create actions; actions create habits; habits create beliefs; beliefs attract similar beliefs; similar beliefs form belief systems; belief systems create human identities; and it’s my human identities that create my reality.

The CONSCIOUS CREATION PROCESS is based on three LAWS of HEALING: First, nothing changes until it becomes what it is...Love. Second, no two objects can occupy the same space at the same time; therefore I am either resonating Love or Fear. And third, my beliefs create my reality. “Ask,” promised Jesus, “and it will be given to me.” -Matthew 7:7 I create from the unseen to the scene… from the invisible to the visible. What I see in front of me has no power over me because it is simply my old Karma running off. Most people think that they are their thoughts. I am not my thoughts. I am the creator of my thoughts, and therefore I am FREE to think any thoughts I want. I can choose to think thoughts of love, healing, and prosperity OR I can think thoughts of fear, lack, and dis-ease. This choice brings with it great personal responsibility, for I will experience the thoughts that I choose to think.

A HUMAN IDENTITY is composed of Spirit-Vision-Mind-Feelings-Body. A HUMAN IDENTITY is my “thoughts made manifest.” Most of my core human identities were programmed into me when I was a child. Therefore, as an adult, I will need to dis-create any identities that I feel don’t serve me well. 

THE CONSCIOUS CREATION PROCESS NEEDS BOTH A POSITIVE AND A NEGATIVE CHARGE OF ENERGY TO EXIST Life is composed of positive and negative charges of energy, from the smallest subatomic particle to our immense Sun. Depending on the context, humanity has a variety of terms to describe these contrasts of polar opposites. Batteries have positive and negative terminals. Eastern spiritual thought refers to the yin & yang energies of duality. Metaphysically we refer to contrasts as paradoxical. Religions impart a moral judgment and define them as good & evil. Emotionally we call them happy and sad. The medical institutions call them healthy and dis-eased. Conscious Creation needs both a positive and a negative charge of energy to manifest from the unseen world of Spirit, to the scene world of solid matter.

UNCONSCIOUS EXERCISE 

An exercise is a series of specific actions that brings about an expected end result. The unconscious exercise is a series of actions that helps me to realize how much of my programming is still unconscious. Learn how to create, and dis-create the things that don't serve you well by tapping into your conscious, and unconscious beliefs. Call to schedule your consultation today.

Karma And Dharma

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The LAWS of KARMA and DHARMA are rooted in the same principles that Nature uses to create everything that you can see. LAW IS…THE WAY LIFE IS! Law is the process by which the un-manifest becomes manifest. It’s the process by which you create your life. It’s the process by which you attract people and circumstances into your life. It’s the process by which your dreams become physical reality. You don’t have to like the laws, but you do have to learn them and use them if you want to create the reality you desire!

Ignorance of the Laws of Life is no excuse; you can get hurt by not knowing. For example, if you didn’t understand the law of gravity and you fell down an empty elevator shaft in a ten- story building, you would still get hurt. Your ignorance of the reason that your body was falling downward would make no difference at all; you would still hit the ground!

“WHAT IS KARMA?”

Another name for the Law of Karma is the Law of Cause and Effect. The Law of Karma is also referred to as the Law of Sowing and Reaping because your every action generates a force of energy that returns to you its kind; therefore…what you sow, you reap! So, when you choose actions that are open, honest, and spiritually centered, the fruits of your labor will attract the same. But, if your actions are riddled with pain, fear, and mistrust, the fruits of your labor will mirror your fear-based actions!

THREE THINGS YOU CAN DO ABOUT KARMA

There are three things that you can do about your past Karma: EXPERIENCE IT, TRANSFORM IT, OR TRANSCEND IT.

Most people do it the first way; they EXPERIENCE their Karma by PAYING their KARMIC DEBT. They unconsciously experience that which they have “dished out” coming back to them because of the Law of Sowing and Reaping.

The second choice is to TRANSFORM your Karma into a more desirable experience by asking yourself the question, “What can I learn and how can I grow from this experience?” In this  way you’ll TRANSFORM your adversity into a benefit, which can bring you health, wealth,  and spiritual fulfillment.

Lastly, utilizing the Law of Detachment, you can TRANSCEND your Karma and become independent of it by MEDITATING. Meditation enables you to clearly define the distinction between your Self and your Karma. This awareness allows you to “be in the world, but not of it.Your dramas will have no real power over you because you’ll view them as you do a movie, from an emotionally detached state of consciousness. Meditation allows you to TRANSCEND your Karma because it trains and disciplines your Ego-Mind. This allows you to wash your Karma off in much the same way that mud washes off your skin.

BIRTH ORDER, ASTROLOGY, AND KARMA

Before you incarnated you picked your birth order as well as your day of birth; therefore these two factors have a great deal to do with your Karma. I have facilitated over 15,000 hours of Self-mastery Coaching sessions and I have found that if I know what my client’s astrological sign and birth order are I can accurately predict (seventy percent) what their general Karmic challenges will be for taking birth.

Birth-order psychology will help you understand yourself because your order of birth will give you Karmic clues as to why you are the way you are.  Birth-order psychology is not an exact science, but one thing for sure is that living with your family was a unique and distinctive Karmic experience. Your family relationships were created in great part by what birth order you chose to incarnate into. Your family exerts more Karmic influence on you than any other relationship, organization, institution, or experience.

So, if you want to better understand your own Karma it will behoove you to learn the basics of your birth-order psychology and astrological tendencies. Call to schedule your consultation today.